Anatomy of a helpless tree branch

__________________________________________________content warning: body insecurities, body hatred

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i. cranium

when i sit / on this bed i feel /
narrower than i / ever have
no one knows / when i’ll inflate / bloom

& bear matter / insides mysterious /
runes scratched by / an all-knowing hand
i / shame the silhouette / i was dropped

in / a cheap cracked / cast /

……………………………….i think nothing is
………….permanent yet / i lay here / under sun / limbs
parched / puckering needles / & stalks

………….of wood / contrived from spindles /
………….bright yarn / strewn on a weak / frame / i
………….am / beneath the window / reddening tendrils /
………….of muscle & now / i could be /

scooped delicate /
………….pinched claws / clasped close around /

…………………….my frame / this organism /
………….meets flesh with / a pity stare

ii. ribs

sunbathed / fish carcass / the
cartilage puckered / bones accompanying
the blue jay’s song /

…………out the window / trees

beat against glass / like my heart /
i run my fingers / over jelly /
feeling bumps / &

…………o how /
my nausea /
……………………..makes everything
…………flat

iii. stomach

the Eat more /
………..gulped as a fleeting /
whisper / peristalsis
………..like / the scratch
after a cough /
………..slabs of marble /
shift / & i
……….feel like i am
growing / but
……….i am still / a child
17 / but only
……….a blistered organ

iv. hands

that i shame for / being
……….delicate / they etch
………………….verse into paper /
……….flying thin protrusions
that / feel weak /
……….when they / kiss
………………….another palm /
……….i’ll Picasso / myself
rearrange every atom /
……….for tougher meat like /
………………….the guys / i
……….wander past in /
hallways / i might
……….change / the way
………………….an ocean’s lips
……….flatten sand / a
………………….more solid mass

v. all

pale canvas / taut against
……….a buried xylophone / i

am a human / boy / who
……….exists as a caterpillar playground

snapping tightrope / apricot flesh
……….& pressed lily leaves

when the choir / screamed
……….Do they feed you at home /

Little kid / eat more / i
……….was reduced to the limbs of

the trees that / swat flies
……….beyond the glass / i

ask for silence / the kinds
……….in glass bottles / stuffed

with secrets / in my chest
……….lies a bird / hoping to

pick at the tissue / my silence
……….to static is my form / of

patience / under wires / i hear
……….Twig / &

…………………..blink /

plasma pressurizing /
………..i’ve always swallowed

similes / but this one got
………..stuck in / my throat

if genies came from
………..lips / i’d ask for

strength / & clogged ears /
………..to be safe in / soma /

swallowing life /
………..nutrition flooding / warm

sacks / purple eyebags / aqua
………..rivulets / in my arms /

a mind clung to flesh / yellow
………..glowing from under /

the surface / not wood /
………..a life / flexible / & intricate

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Sarkis Antonyan is a high school senior from California who loves apricot macarons and really wants to adopt a pet frog. A reader at Pollux Journal and a graphic designer at Flat Ink, he appears in Peach Magazine, The Augment Review, Plum Recruit, and h-pem, among others. You can find him on Twitter as @sako_a13, online at www.sarkisantonyan.com, and in real life scouring drawers for Earl Grey tea bags.